Change... Does this word make
you cringe? Transition... and what
does this word make you feel?
We are creatures of
habit. Routines help us keep organized, stay focused, and remain structured.
But how do change and
transition affect children?
Everyday transitions
like getting ready for bed or needing to leave the house to go to the store can
lead to undesired behaviors like whining and crying or negotiating and stalling.
The more routine the everyday transitions become, the more improved behaviors
should become.
If your child is being
asked to do something never done previously there will most likely be a level
of fear even if the activity is fun like going to a movie theater, traveling on
a train or plane, or swimming.
There are also those occasions when a child has
to do something less pleasant like visiting the dentist or attending a wake or
funeral, or going to the hospital. You can help your children by preparing them
for these inevitable events.
Tell them what this new place looks like from the
outside and the inside; what will happen there, what their behavior should be
and what they will see other people doing. Show them pictures you find on the
internet as examples. Ask them what questions they have. Remind them of past successes
with other transitions/changes.
Then there are those
major life changing transitions like starting school, moving to a new home,
having a new sibling, and experiencing a death that bring strong feelings of
fear, anxiety, and sadness to children. The same preparation mentioned above
will help as will having them participate as much as possible.
This makes them
feel like they are important and part of the experience (making a card for the
new teacher; choosing the color of paint for their bedroom; picking out new
clothes for the baby; getting flowers for the memorial service).
Understanding that your children will have strong emotions (and that the emotions are okay) will
demonstrate your love and support.
