Distress tolerance is another skill used in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy
(DBT). In a nut shell, distress tolerance is how we handle
crises or other emotionally challenging situations.
Something important
to ask yourself is this: "When I am in a situation I cannot change, how
do I get out without making things worse?”
This phrase is really important for parenting and learning to pick and choose "battles."
This phrase is really important for parenting and learning to pick and choose "battles."
-Splashing some cold water on your face when in crisis mode
-20 minutes of intense exercise (to help deescalate)
-Paced breathing to counter fight or flight reactions (i.e. inhale for 5 seconds, exhale for 8 seconds)
-Muscle relaxation (progressively go through your body and focus on relaxing each muscle: head, neck, shoulders, arms, legs, feet, etc.)
-Soothe your senses by using scented hand lotion (touch, smell), looking at relaxing photos (sight), listening to soothing music (sound), etc.
-Avoid “re-firing” the emotions by using some form of distraction (e.g., talking to a friend, reading even a brief article, tidying up around the house, etc.)
It is
extremely important for parents to keep their emotions in check.
Children need their parents to be able to tolerate their (the
children's) emotions, stay calm, and help them manage their big
feelings. Parents can only truly do this when they can successfully work
through their feelings and, BONUS: they are modeling good coping skills
in the process.
Posted by Shawna Paplaski, LCPC
