Nurturing an Authentic Sense of Self in Pre-Teen Girls

As a child psychotherapist, I often see pre-teen girls grappling with the challenge of developing an authentic sense of self. This stage of life is filled with rapid developmental changes, both physical and emotional, and it can be difficult for young girls to navigate these changes while staying true to themselves. Here are some strategies that can help pre-teen girls work toward developing an authentic sense of self:

Teens Understanding Anxiety: How Talking About Your Feelings Can Help You Feel Better

Have you ever wondered how to help your teen understand what anxiety is and why talking about their feelings can bring them some relief? If so, here’s what you can say. Read on…

Making the Sunday Scaries Less Scary 🫣

Are the “Sunday Scaries” ruining your weekends? As a parent myself, I know a crying, flopping, venting, whining, anxious and/or depressed kiddo will wear everyone down and make the simplest tasks feel impossibly overwhelming. The data say this is very real, and we know it is hard, hard, hard! 

Oh, what to do, what to do?

How to Lessen Leaning on Screen with Youngers Kids

We know that most parents are concerned about the amount of time their children spend on devices and behind screens. It can be especially challenging in high-stress situations, as we often find ourselves turning to technology to help our kiddos calm down when feeling overwhelmed or in a challenging situation or environment. While it’s important to keep a balance between device time and other activities, having a toolbox for tough situations will make it much easier to help your child to better manage their big feelings.

Here are some non-screen ideas to help children to manage emotions:

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Spring Break Ideas for Kids and Teens

 

With spring break approaching, parents can start to feel overwhelmed with how to fill their kids’ days and how to handle the break in routines and schedules. It can be even more challenging in the case of families with Highlighly Sensitive Children or children and teens who struggle with BIG feelings.

That being said, it’s important to remember that there are also benefits to taking a break, as it provides a time for children’s and teens’ brains and bodies to rejuvenate and if offers the opportunity for families to reconnect and reset. Suddenly having no routines and much less structure means, on the one hand, that we need to plan ahead and try to create some kind of loose schedule to make the time easier to handle, and on the other hand, that we need to let kids have good old fashioned free time. Instead of focusing on empty days and no obligations, think about how to make this time fun for you and your kids AND how to give your kids the space to figure out what to do on their own. Spring Break is a good opportunity to take advantage of some newfound quality time and independence. 

Here are some ideas that can help make the most of your time! 

Signs of Anxiety in Children and Teens

It seems like you can’t go anywhere without hearing about the rise of anxiety in our post-pandemic world. While we’ve come a long way by bringing the conversation about mental health to the forefront, we can’t forget that all of the factors that contribute to our anxiety are also having their own separate effects on our kids. 

It is so difficult to try and get inside of our children and teens’ heads and, as parents, we never want to think that even our youngest kids may be struggling with stressors and anxieties. That being said, being aware and being able to get ahead of some of these issues can make all the difference.

Co-Regulation of Emotions

All parents want their children and teens to be able to effectively manage their emotions and feelings to the best of their ability so that they can be as happy as they can be. Most parents understand that part of their responsibility is to help them learn how to do so. This fundamental ability to manage inner thoughts, experiences, and feelings is called Self-Regulation, and one of the best ways to help your child or teen achieve this is through Co-Regulation. 

It’s Anxiety, Not “Bad Behavior”

Ever wonder where the feelings of anger or outbursts that your child or teen is experiencing come from? I’m sure you have heard of fight or flight responses, right? Well, most of the time the negative behaviors we see in our kids are fueled by anxiety that comes from the child’s or teen’s perception of a threat, combined with the sudden feeling of being out of control. This is why it’s so important to treat anxiety-fueled behavior (even when it manifests as a tantrum, meltdown, or snarky back-talk), as just that - anxiety, and not as “bad behavior.”

Empathy on the Brain

Empathy: A word we hear more and more today, especially in discussions about children/teens and their emotional development. What exactly is empathy? Empathy is being able to put ourselves in someone else’s situation in an effort to feel what they are feeling. Sounds easy enough, right? Not always. It often gets confused with sympathy, which means feelings bad for someone. It can be difficult to practice (and even more difficult to teach) empathy when we don’t necessarily agree with or understand the other person’s feelings. The most important thing is keeping in mind that just because we do not cognitively process what that feeling “means”, we can still help this other person move through their feelings how they see fit. Any adult knows how an empathetic friend or loved one can make us feel better even in the worst moments, but the need for empathy is probably even greater when it comes to our kiddos. Why? Because empathy fosters a sense of belonging, a necessity for children and teens in all of their stages of development. When they are shown empathy (by modeling behavior), they feel worthy of the love and support they are receiving. They feel heard, seen, and understood. They don’t feel alone.