Oh, what to do, what to do?
We know that most parents are concerned about the amount of time their children spend on devices and behind screens. It can be especially challenging in high-stress situations, as we often find ourselves turning to technology to help our kiddos calm down when feeling overwhelmed or in a challenging situation or environment. While it’s important to keep a balance between device time and other activities, having a toolbox for tough situations will make it much easier to help your child to better manage their big feelings.
Here are some non-screen ideas to help children to manage emotions:
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It seems like you can’t go anywhere without hearing about the rise of anxiety in our post-pandemic world. While we’ve come a long way by bringing the conversation about mental health to the forefront, we can’t forget that all of the factors that contribute to our anxiety are also having their own separate effects on our kids.
It is so difficult to try and get inside of our children and teens’ heads and, as parents, we never want to think that even our youngest kids may be struggling with stressors and anxieties. That being said, being aware and being able to get ahead of some of these issues can make all the difference.
All parents want their children and teens to be able to effectively manage their emotions and feelings to the best of their ability so that they can be as happy as they can be. Most parents understand that part of their responsibility is to help them learn how to do so. This fundamental ability to manage inner thoughts, experiences, and feelings is called Self-Regulation, and one of the best ways to help your child or teen achieve this is through Co-Regulation.
Ever wonder where the feelings of anger or outbursts that your child or teen is experiencing come from? I’m sure you have heard of fight or flight responses, right? Well, most of the time the negative behaviors we see in our kids are fueled by anxiety that comes from the child’s or teen’s perception of a threat, combined with the sudden feeling of being out of control. This is why it’s so important to treat anxiety-fueled behavior (even when it manifests as a tantrum, meltdown, or snarky back-talk), as just that - anxiety, and not as “bad behavior.”
Empathy: A word we hear more and more today, especially in discussions about children/teens and their emotional development. What exactly is empathy? Empathy is being able to put ourselves in someone else’s situation in an effort to feel what they are feeling. Sounds easy enough, right? Not always. It often gets confused with sympathy, which means feelings bad for someone. It can be difficult to practice (and even more difficult to teach) empathy when we don’t necessarily agree with or understand the other person’s feelings. The most important thing is keeping in mind that just because we do not cognitively process what that feeling “means”, we can still help this other person move through their feelings how they see fit. Any adult knows how an empathetic friend or loved one can make us feel better even in the worst moments, but the need for empathy is probably even greater when it comes to our kiddos. Why? Because empathy fosters a sense of belonging, a necessity for children and teens in all of their stages of development. When they are shown empathy (by modeling behavior), they feel worthy of the love and support they are receiving. They feel heard, seen, and understood. They don’t feel alone.
Sometimes it’s really hard to figure out the best ways to communicate with your child or teen. Kids aren’t always super interested in hearing from us parents, mostly because they think we’re going to say something annoying. So, to try and catch and keep your kids’ attention when you want to communicate something to them, try this, instead of…
